When Jean-Paul Sartre said "Hell is other people," I'm assuming he was at a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party.
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Ticket prices this weekend: DisneyLand - $117.00, LegoLand - $103.00, IKEA - $0.00. Hope our kids like Swedish meatballs.
Our daughter isn't following instructions at swim class, so we've been looking for appropriate water safety videos online. Finally gave up and just showed her the first...
I've been a husband for five years, a dad for three years, and now I know why men die first.
The car wash guy asked me what I wanted my car to smell like, so I said "No kids."
Her: I love you, Mommy. Us: Aw. Her: I love you, Daddy. Us: Aw. Her: I love you, table. Us: Huh? Her: I love you, bread. Us: Wait. Her: I love you, toilet. Us: Dammit.
Super excited to see Avengers: Infinity War... in six months, on our couch, over several nights.
I'm not old, but I'm not as "not old" as I used to be. Get more Funny or Cry memes on The DadLands!
I enjoy fantasy sports. The fantasy is my kids letting me watch one game in peace.
My kids were driving me crazy, so I took them to see "A Quiet Place." They haven't made a sound in three days.