Seriously? Another kid?

Seriously? Another kid?

by | Apr 5, 2018 | Funny or Cry

My wife wants another kid. So, now I have to step up, be a man… and go get a super secret vasectomy. My wife won’t let our baby clothes go. Even though we’ve agreed that two is more than enough children, she holds on to them like frozen eggs at a clinic. And...
Vicious cycle

Vicious cycle

by | Apr 3, 2018 | Funny or Cry

How to get kids to pick up toys: Threaten to throw out toys. Throw out toys. Re-buy toys. Repeat. I have a big trash bag ready at all times and when they refuse to pick up, in the bag their toys go. And they used to cry and complain, but the truth is I can’t bring...
Potty training

Potty training

by | Mar 25, 2018 | Funny or Cry

Sure, my kids are potty trained… Trained to ask me to wipe their ass two mouthfuls into whatever meal I’m eating. Boy, how I wish people remembered their early childhood. I think they’d be nicer to their parents if they remembered all the disgusting things...
Dadnesia (noun)

Dadnesia (noun)

by | Mar 25, 2018 | Funny or Cry

Dadnesia (dadˈnēZHə) noun. When you go to put away the leftover pizza from the night before and then remember you actually ate the whole thing. Symptoms also include mixing up your kids’ names, forgetting your promise to fix the bathroom cabinets, and never...