Second wind? By the time my kids go to bed, I'm on my fifteenth wind. At 7:00 pm.
Michael Beatrice
Mike Beatrice is a Bostonian living in Hollywood. He's written for Playboy TV, TheStream.tv, SchmoesKnow.com, and is a regular contributor here at The DadLands. He and his wife raise two toddler girls, two dogs, and a dozen chickens.
Use the links below to follow Mike on Twitter (@MichaelBeatrice) and on Instagram (_MichaelBeatrice).
Zero. That's the number of days this year that everyone in my family has been 100% healthy all at the same time.
Watching the Royal Wedding... Me: Honey, am I your royal prince? Her: You're my royal pain-in-the-ass.
You know what channel really needs a scrolling score ticker? Nick Jr. -- and I'm also looking at you, Disney Channel.
Ask your parent-friends what they think about Caillou and answers will range from “eh, I don’t really like him” to “Caillou is the Anti-Christ.”
My wife took the kids to In-N-Out while I was at work. I'd feel less betrayed if she had an affair.
Them: Are you watching the game tonight? Me: Only if it's on Nick Jr. (Kids suck)
You don't tell your daughters about American Girl, I won't tell my daughters about American Girl, and we'll all get through this together. Deal?
When Jean-Paul Sartre said "Hell is other people," I'm assuming he was at a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party.
Ticket prices this weekend: DisneyLand - $117.00, LegoLand - $103.00, IKEA - $0.00. Hope our kids like Swedish meatballs.
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